Garbage Is My Love Language

My wife is good with that

Photo by Gary Chan on Unsplash

The 5 Love Languages, according to Gary Chapman’s book, are: Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Hazelnut Gelato.

Hang on—double checking my notes, it turns out Chapman’s remaining love language is: Acts of Service. That one’s definitely mine. Specifically, taking out the garbage.

Now that I know that, I am going to start informing my wife every time I empty the trash and take it out to our decrepit shed by the side of the house—

“Look honey, I’m doing an Act of Service.”

One Act of Service a day ought to be enough to “love better and grow closer,” don’t you think? Okay, maybe not.

But I also—and yeah, I’m bragging here—bring my wife a fresh cup of coffee as soon as she wakes up. Jeeves-like, I am.

Soon after we were married, my wife told me that her father had performed that Act of Service for her mother, so I thought I’d carry on that tradition and I have, without fail, for decades.

I mentioned this to my mother-in-law recently.

“Franca, how nice it must have been that Robin brought you a cup of coffee every morning.”

“What! He never did that! Who told you that!”

Nevertheless, the coffee will continue being delivered. And the trash will continue to be taken out, ideally before it gets completely stinky. It may not be particularly romantic, but in its own workaday way, it keeps the magic alive.