Wirecutter's Salty Potato Chips Review

Cape Cod and Trader Joe's Dissed

Cartoon by Isabella Bannerman. With permission of King Features Syndicate, Inc.

Talk about a dream job. NYT Reporter Rachel Wharton just tested 70 kinds of plain salted potato chips for Wirecutter, the Times’ product review section.

Naturally, I assumed Cape Cod Potato Chips would win in a walk, at least in the Kettle-style arena. Man, was I ever wrong:

“Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips Original had a sweet-potato flavor and greasy crunch that many liked, but some tasted scorched oil.”

WHAAAAAT!

Furthermore, there’s this:

“We did not like Kirkland Signature Kettle Brand Pink Salt Potato Chips, made for Costco. They were greasy, hard, and bland, and they tasted slightly underdone.”

Now my entire world is collapsing around me. A Costco Kirkland Signature product, reviewed with not just dismissal, but disrespect? It’s a good thing I was sitting down when I read it.

Wharton then took a swipe at another purveyor of crunchy goodness:

“Some tasters thought Trader Joe’s Ode to the Classic Potato Chip were pale and tasted slightly stale, though they had a nutty, balanced flavor and snappy texture.”

Slightly stale? Trader Joe’s? That’s not how they described these chips in the Fearless Flyer:

“An ode is a lyric poem, often meant to be sung. One might wonder if a mere potato chip is worthy of such elevated literary reference; such wonder would clearly indicate one hasn’t yet experienced Trader Joe’s Ode to the Classic Potato Chip.”

Notice they use a semi-colon. Only the Fearless Flyer can get away with this—do not try a semi-colon at home.

So, you figure, Wirecutter’s winners must be small-batch, artisanal chip companies, right? Wrong. Basically, Wirecutter likes Walmart, Amazon, and Lay’s. Clearly, these reviewers are in the pocket of Big Potato Chip.

However in the kettle-style division they liked the Deep River Snacks brand and its “mega-crunch.” That one is a smaller brand I hadn’t noticed, in my blind allegiance to Cape Cod’s delicious offerings.

There is no bad potato chip. I love them all.

Also, there is no good potato chip. My GP told me not to eat them. It has not been easy. Wirecutter’s review will not make it any easier; as Lay’s says, bet you can’t eat just one.

See, I tried a semi-colon there. It didn’t work.