Recent Contributions to Boring
Including Sweden's Camera-Shy King of the Forest
My life is gloriously unexciting.
I am so grateful.
I’d rather my days resemble one long, predictable Hallmark movie than say, The Blair Witch Project. I ain’t going down into any basements. Roller coasters? I’d pay not to go on one. I’d pay lots.
So it’s probably no surprise that my taste in entertainment skews to the soporific. Here are a couple recent discoveries.
The Great Moose Migration
A Swedish livestream in which, most of the time, nothing happens.
For thousands of years, moose in Sweden have followed the same general route north each spring, and Swedish TV has set up cameras along the route to capture it as it happens.
They call it “Slow TV,” and the migration unfolds at its own unpredictable pace. Moose once captured here in pits made by hunter-gatherers are now captured by video cameras.
Thousands of viewers wait for the first moose to appear and swim across the Ångerman River in the Swedish wilderness. They follow all the action, or lack thereof, for the next three weeks.
What’s not to like? The beauty of the woods, river, and lakes, the majesty of the “King of the Forest,” and the easy-to-follow plot: moose hoofing it to summer grazing.
The Dull Men’s Club
According to an article in The Guardian by Lili Mallatratt, there is a Facebook group called the Dull Men’s Club that includes posts on, for example, one member’s rock collection.
These are my people.
By the way, they have changed their name to Banana for Scale, an inside joke. It’s arguably an even duller name, though, so all the better.
Most men who aren’t Harry Styles are dull. We’re okay with that. Although, would anybody really be surprised to see Harry at Costco taking advantage of a coupon on cotton sheets or nibbling a sample of Kirkland mixed nuts? No.
It wouldn’t surprise me if he had a rock collection, either.
One woman met her husband through the group. She was looking for someone boring, I guess. Boring may be an attractive quality in a partner, after experiencing the other kind.
Textbook Sleep
Some of you may know that this is my podcast series, in which I read aloud boring textbooks to help people fall asleep. A recent episode was on the subject of statistics—for most of us, that’s mind-numbingly dull. Listening to it has the same effect as being sedated prior to a colonoscopy. The doc asks you to count backwards from 10, and you don’t make it to nine.
This project fits in well with my pursuit of the mundane.
The search for boring never sleeps.
Having known this Nolan fellow for more than 50 years, I take issue with his projecting some sort of mundane, cardigan-clad, Mister Rogers persona. Why, I know for a fact that he once drove to Costco without turning on the heated seats.
There is absolutely nothing dull about your humor, Jim. Your friends must howl aloud or giggle profusely each time you open your mouth to speak. I know your humor is the "spice" in my week.